It’s been over a year since I’ve written a post for this blog—or anything of substance, really, beyond the occasional heartfelt Instagram caption. When I even think about writing, my body reacts like I’m stepping into a dark, abandoned building instead of returning to the warm, familiar home of my childhood. My legs tremble. My chest tightens. A voice whispers, “You can’t do this anymore.”
Read MoreThe first time I was ever prescribed mental health medication was when I found myself on an involuntary hold in a mental health hospital. Ironically, I went to see a psychiatrist that I’d found online for the first time, thinking that he would prescribe me a few pills and send me on my way, but turns out people who want to end their lives don’t get sent along their way. He had me admitted as a danger to myself, and the psychiatrist at the hospital prescribed me Prozac and diagnosed me with Major Depressive Disorder.
Read MoreI don’t want any of it. I don’t want the job or the title or the pay. I don’t want the company culture or the generous PTO. I want to put my feet in the sand as the waves speak to my soul.
Read MoreFor years I’ve gone back and forth between trying to starve myself into a body I deemed acceptable, or white nuckeling through trying to accept the appearance of a body I hated. Both experiences were not only draining, but detrimental to my mental health.
Read MoreThis blog post has 2 purposes.
To remind me that my brain does lie to me so that I can create distance between myself and my thoughts. That distance makes the thoughts less powerful and allows me to move forward in my recovery.
So that others can get a glimpse into what it’s like inside the mind of someone who struggles with mental illness.
Women are taught to aspire to marriage. We are taught to dream of the day that we will be promised a life of love and happiness, but I think it’s more important to honor my commitments to myself, so here they are. These are my vows to my damn self, may they serve as a guidepost to my peace and contentment.
Read MoreIn this post I will give you 3 common ways that we avoid grief, hopefully you will be able to recognize these signs in yourself if you are avoiding grief, and give yourself permission to grieve, feel the feelings, and allow them to heal you.
Read MoreI will never forget the day I went to clear out my desk and officially submit my letter of resignation from the teaching job I’d held for several years at one of the most prestigious schools in the county. I had prayed for this job. Other teachers would kill for this job. It was the dream job….someone else’s dream that is.
Read MoreI often think back to that night in the Emergency room. The nurses and doctors worked so hard to heal my body and save my womb. For them I will be forever grateful. But nothing will ever compare to the gratitude I feel for the tech who gave me the wisdom I would need to heal my soul.
Read MoreI needed a title that would provide lasting satisfaction. One that could show me once and for all who I was, and what my place was in this world. I needed the ultimate title. I needed to be a WIFE!
Read MoreIn a situationship you are often expected to give freely of your body, your emotions, your energy and your time, but when the subject of commitment or titles come up, there's awkward pauses, vague explanations, and usually a shit ton of avoidance.
I started my first situationship about 2 weeks into my freshman year of college. He was my first taste of "grown up sex" and I was HOOKED! Of course he had a girlfriend, because that's just how these stories go. Naive college freshman meets sexy college frat boy, cue the cliche dramatic yet predictable story lines.
Read MoreThere's a special type of sisterhood that comes from sitting in a room full of strangers that are all waiting to abort their unborn children. Nothing creates instant comradery like the shared sting of regret and relief all swirled into one
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